Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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