is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
