Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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