I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
