McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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