she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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