He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
