It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
