He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
