so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
