I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
