eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
