using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
