You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
