4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
