she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
