just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
