Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
