he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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