WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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