we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
