you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
