It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
