There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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