Moan for me like Helen Keller
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
