hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
