Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
