Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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