Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
