If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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