i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
