would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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