So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
