we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
