i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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