Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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