clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
3 2 1 whiskey
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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