god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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