is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize