oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
