Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
