Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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