so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I had to cum in my sink.
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