That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
