Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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