Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Will exercising make me less horny?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
