let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
50% drunk capacity currently
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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