Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
