dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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