Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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