you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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