I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
