yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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